Monsters
14 years ago
June 22, 2010
Two months later I am really feeling the move. I'm very much alone here. I have a job, and I like it just fine. My co-workers are super fun to talk to, but they aren't likely to become my "friends" any time soon. My family is very far away, and I am now (for sure) missing my nieces 2nd birthday party.
I'm glad I moved, but lately I've been needing more reassurance. I can tell I am holding Brandon back from his life. There are things he wants to do, namely, getting a motorcycle, that I am definitely impeding. Money is STILL an issue, and I imagine it will continue to BE an issue for awhile.
I'm not as strong as I need to be. I don't have enough faith that we'll get through this tough part, the depressing and hard parts, and get to the easy part.
I just can't shake the overwhelming urge that I just don't BELONG here.
Brandon is great, and I love him very much. And when school starts I am sure I will feel 100x better. But, for the next couple of months, I will just sort of...exist as a tumor in Brandon's life. And completely miss out on my own.
I don't know what to do :(.
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