Monsters
14 years ago
April 11, 2010
I'll take a break from lugging boxes and cartons and storage tubs (oh my!) down to my car. I'll gladly sit on my ass and talk to the internet about how I'm feeling right now. I'm not sad, nor scared, nor anxious. I'm not looking forward to the impending drive...driving makes me terribly nervous. It isn't even the length of the drive that concerns me. I've grown insanely patient over the years. I am content in knowing that all things come to an end...even hella long car trips.
The trip to Texas will, by far, be the longest I've driven, ever. I'll play it by ear, stop when I need to, but part of me wants to drive straight through the entire 15 hours rather than breaking overnight halfway through. I get to see Brandon sooner if I do that. That alone makes it worth it. But, alas, for his sake and mine I must err on the side of caution and drive carefully.
I hope, as well, that my old beat up car will make the journey unscathed, a little worse for wear, but good nonetheless. She'll turn over and hit 100,000 miles sometime after I cross into the Texas region. Or as I like to call it "home". It feels weird to say that. I can't tell you how long it has been since I've felt welcome somewhere. Almost 10 years I'd say. I've always lived where someone else made the rules, where I was a burden or an adult who needed to move out. Or just some chick. I'll take and post pictures of my overstuffed car, it will make a nice addition to this post.
I miss my boyfriend. My family. My life. I hope to regain a bit of self confidence, feel useful, feel a bit like the world wouldn't be better off (or at least no different) if I weren't here. I'm done being that person. I'll be better. I AM better, because I know Brandon. He's the definition of perfection in any human being. A pillar of kindness, intelligence, compassion, and video gaming prowess (ladies, it matters, think hand dexterity...).
My next update will likely contain more information on who he is, who I am, and why we're the perfect combination.
BAM!
Courtney
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